What if computer systems were airlines?

DOS Air

The passengers have got to get the plane out of the hangar themselves, fuel and service it, then they have to push-start it at jump on. When the plane lands, they all jump off again, grab the plane and put it away in the hangar. Someone who knows how to do this had better show you, because you will not figure it out for yourself.


MacAirlines

The check-ins are staffed by people who look exactly like the cabin staff, the flight crew, and the baggage staff. If you ask what time the flight leaves, they will tell you that you not only do not need to know, but you actually do not want to know either, and would you please just sit back and watch the movie?


Amiga International

Despite many satisfied passengers, no one seems to know where the planes go or from. Connecting flights with any other airlines are strictly forbidden, and baggage routed from other airlines is destroyed by the airline staff. The in-flight entertainment is said to be amazing.


Windows 3.x Airways

The staff is polite, the service is superb. Your flight leaves on time, and a beautiful in-flight meal is served by elegant flight attendants. You are just puoring your drink and settling back to enjoy the meal when, at 20,000 feet, the plane explodes without warning.


Air OS/2

An enourmous terminal building is surrounded by sleek new planes capable of anything, yet the building is deserted. If you ask when the flight will depart, they tell you the flight technicians are just fixing a little bit of code, and you soon will be on your way. A lot of the passengers are trying to switch their flights to Fly '95 (see below).


Win-NT Airlines

The passengers bring their own seats and attach them to the shell of the plane. Passengers enjoy a speedy flight to an unknown destination.


UNIX Express Airways

Instead of a ticket, passengers are invited to bring along toolkit to build their own plane. Everyone agrees there are lots of possibilities, but no one can agree on the design they ought to follow.


Fly '95

Passengers who have been waiting for nine months for the departure are now invited aboard. This also applies to passengers who have boarded and then gotten off many times during some time. Fly '95 apologizes for the absence of some advertised services on this flight, but stresses that our flights in no way resemble DOS Air.