The Pope had just finished a tour of the Napa Valley and was taking a limousine to San Francisco. Having never driven a limo, he asks the chauffeur if he can drive for a while. Well, the chauffeur doesn't have much of a choice, so he climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel. The Pope proceeds down Silverado, and starts accelerating to see what the limo can do. He gets about 90 mph, and suddenly he sees the red and blue lights of a CHP in his mirror. He pulls over and the trooper comes to his window. The trooper, seeing who it is, says, "Just a moment please, I need to call in."
The trooper calls in and asks for the chief. He tells the chief that he's got a REALLY important person pulled over, and he asks how to handle it.
"Is it the Governor?"
"No! Even more important!"
"Is it the PRESIDENT???"
"No Sir! Even MORE important!"
"Well WHO THE NECK is it?" screams the chief.
"I don't know sir," replies the trooper, "but he's got the Pope as his chauffeur."
Läs följande med knarrig engelsk oxfordengelsk accent:
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are sitting in a bar, drinking, and discussing how stupid their wives are. The Englishman says "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a fridge to keep it in." The Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. "Just last week, she went out and spent $17,000 on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn't even know how to drive!" The Irishman nods sadely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch.
However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "Ah, it kills me every toime oi tink of it," he chuckles. "Moy woife just left to go on a holiday in Greece. Oy watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there. And she doesn't even have a penis !"