How to drive WOMEN crazy!!!!!!!!

* Call her by the dog´s name and then deny it.

* Answer all her questions with a question, preferably one on a totally different subject.

* Superglue the commode seat in the up position.

* Shrink her jeans and when she overacts because she thinks that she´s gaining weight, give her a condescending smile and say that you prefer her with some meat on her bones.

* Firmly refuse to ever ask for directions even it you find yourselt in Georgia when your original destination was California.

* Call her by your mother´s name and then deny it.

* Start a conversation with the dog in the middle of one with her.

* Buy her power tools for Valentine´s Day.

* Never give her straight answers.

* Take up yodelling and practice a lot.

* Quote Tim Allen to validate your postition during arguments. (Argh! Argh! Argh!)

* Leave the newspaper open to an ad for plastic surgery.

* Pretend you forget how to speak English (or Swedish)

* Answer every question with "Yes, dear." (Use with caution as PMS is a valid murder defense in many states.)