A guy was made to be rough

not too ugly

not too tough

just slightly on the top

like style was something he pretends

that he forgot

But he won't

no he won't

His life was a pretty grey misery

so full of all those things

But still inside so insecure

and god knows how much bored

Then all those girls that he breaked down

he didn't really earn his crown

as king

except from deep within

But he won't go

won't let it show

he couldn't be in rage

try to take his faith

in justice above all

It became his fall

I'm sorry daddy

sorry sorry

sorry for those times

those times I let you down

those times...

...I try to come around

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Presence

I can feel your presence

you are right beside me

I know you guide me

And there's another one as well

On earth he is and stays

He knows inside

what is his pride

and joy

it's not a toy

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Closer yet

I had my tricks

I had my turns

but few of you

could make me

twist my heart in yearn

I'm thinking of you now

Being with you

close and naked

knowing that you'll

never fake it

I'm thinking of you now

Come'on over

let me see

let me show you

how to be

in joy, my love

in ecstasy

eternity

Isn't that what you deep down need?

Secure, in place

tidiness

ordered, sortered, all in shape

I wonder if you're ever late?

let's meet

let's see

If we were ever meant to be

at all

you and me

we met and went

but what was left and still is there

I felt like you're from heaven sent

to me

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You're on your way

I feel it from above

someone's coming through

still far away in third dimension

I'm seeing that it's you

Afraid I am, for what you think

when scanning me today

maybe you'll be so afraid

you'll walk your way

I have to have you know

my god you're coming

and I just don't

just don't

just don't

just don't

just don't know what's there

Just don't know why fear

is surfacing myself

love beneath just swells

I cannot cry

cannot deny

can only stay and wait

with love like this

it's heavens bliss

but still I feel like bait

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Spaceship

I met you in a spaceship

I was just about to go

by boredom of those guys

with no manners at all

You came out to the control room

I was chocked

I went insane

for about an hour

there was just one thing

running around in my brain

I'm in love

I'm in love

I'm in love

I'm in love

with you

You took control and pushed the breaks

as I was just about to throw

myself ontop of you so wildly

with simply no manners at all

You saw my move and looked at me

I was chocked

I saw your thoughts

for a second

there was just one thing

running around in your shorts

I want you

I want you

I want you

I want you

right now

So we did what felt right

at the time and of course

-by physical movements plus Murphys law-

the ship changed course

and now we all in space are lost

but no matter what the cost

it's still worth it in the end

for without impulsive actions

we are not human, dear friends

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You came

I wished you back

and you came

you answered my prayer

and my mail

What this is now

noone knows

but it glows

Generally, diamonds

aren't asked about

their existance

they're just accepted

with or without wisdom

So let us glow

I have changed

so have you

but still there is

something

between us two

that's still the same as before

Like walking a wellknown shore

or fucking a wellfucked whore

Excuse me if I step on some toes here

but your mere existance in my life makes me swear

I'm so full of emotions I don't want to deny

so I just let them fly

I wished you back before

and you came

so gladly

I loved you deep

but behaved so badly

Everything's changed now

we both know for a fact

that everything needs

its counteract

of some kind

I guess that's why

you've been running around

in my mind

for some time

Now resolution is near

when I speak, you hear

when you touch, I dare

love you again

there will never ever

be an end

to the love that I have for you

Needless to say, you knew

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Yearning

I wonder

if you ever think of me

these days

I wish for

the universe to see to

that we cross our ways

again

All I wanna do is see you again

but maybe that's too much to ask for

and it's a lie of course

I want to see you

feel you

crawl around you

heal you

from women still lingering onto your soul

keeping you from feeling whole

I want to see you

feel you

crawl around you

tease you as you please

get you back and win with ease

for I know

You're lying there in crave and need

few of your women did succeed

drenching away your thirst

Thirsty, hungry

you lie there alone

When I come

I will lift you

up onto your throne

where you belong

Every goddamned song

I've written about you

is painfully true

And so, my sweetheart, are you

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If I'm your Dana

If I'm your Dana

and you're my Mulder

we could take each other

so much higher

I got you once

You left me once

If I'm your Dana

and you're my Mulder

it would be almost

as fun as Holly

I got you once

You left me once

If I'm your Dana

and you're my Mulder

we would be so wonderful

together

I got you once

You left me once

If I'm your Dana

and you're my Mulder

All we would be

would be fiction

A hell of a contradiction

Glorious, evil fiction

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The first game

I sat still

wondering

what it would be like

Suddenly he entered the room

I became very aware

of each and every move

from tableplay down to his shoes

I wasn't afraid then

Now

I am scared as hell somehow

now that I know

what he can do

when he plays

If my life is at stake and he wins

Will he let me in?

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Self-indulgence

Concerning the glorious matter

of sweet holy self-indulgence

you think it shows

well it sure does, my love

but do you know what I see?

Someone that raced from nothing to something

someone so close to me

someone who knows

which way the wind blows

but not very much of himself, indeed

What there is on his inside that dwells

He sure knows what he sees

and what he observes

no matter from what state of mind

but things not conquered

he has left behind

they rest within his mind

waiting for someone, of his own kind

To take place in his life and lead him the way

Breathing, growing

giving birth again

to another one of his demon friends

today it's a son of fury

yesterday daughter of sin

someone's recording his story

Will you find me deep within?

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Nada

So angry

so in rage

so bitter but calm yet

when I saw your face

On the screen

in between

some coding and a meal

my stomach turned all upside down

I wanted to, but couldn't conceal

I couldn't quite inhale

the fumes that came

from fenix ashes still not cold

All I longed for was to hold

to have and to hold

Fenix ashes from astral planes

where your beauty lies

and it makes me insane

Is this

me

finding my way back to you

only a brick in Your Game?

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Bitch

So you thought I would want you again?

well, my, I am surprised

So you think you're so lovely and cool nowadays?

well, if it isn't my advice...

I know I made you feel

like you're the best there is

I know I tricked you into thinking

nothing more I could wish

than to have you by my side

You better examine your pride

Who are you really

behind your facade

who are you down under

when your parade

is over?

So you thought I would want you

again

my friend

well I've got some stories to tell

but for your ears only

I have a different story

I would rather go to hell

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My men

Few of the men I've had

were good to me, most were bad

not in behaviour, no

just in ways

in which they made me behave

They tortured me in many ways

by trying to behave

like someone they thought I would like

like some ways I guess

that I walked on, strived for

but they all became a bore

Where will I find

someone to sustain my love

where can I hold

someone tight when my night falls

Where will I be

when so lost for love and lust

for eternity

Where will I be

when from these men

I finally feel free?

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Hi there

Hello all friends

I'm here again

Suddenly I'm back in town

Around

I've been away and you know

what was wrong - didn't you?

Well now I've met someone you see

someone who actually sees me

for what I am

or at least I think he does

This someone has got the guts

to take me

hold me

embrace me

mold me

If he pleases

He teases

maybe he doesn't know

but I regretted for years that I let him go

Free will is illusion from higher views

of course we do what we please

but the results are the same anyway

now we're on our way

The fabric of our lives

that the universe is weaving

sees to that you

and me

and he

we'll be together

forever

woven tight

every night

even though it may seem otherwise

It isn't really a surprise

but I'm glad

that we're all here

near

together

forever

(Until time vanishes)

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Not earthly

Another song of love

as if those that already exist

wouldn't be enough

But this time they cannot be

Not with what is rushing through me

Everything written before

by you or me or us all

can never explain what I feel

from other dimensions I'm healed

by you

and the feelings you have for me

I know what I feel for you -

do you know too?

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Virus

A pain in my heart

hidden like a boot sector virus

confronting me

when I try to partition my love

Hiding so well behind my facade

looking like nothing could break me

crying so loud in my bed at night

wishing you'd come and hold me

Knowing that noone can love for real

until the one loves oneself

knowing, still longing, for you to be here

something is missing

when you aren't here

A pain in my heart

hidden like a boot sector virus

confronting me

when I try to partition my love

Sitting in front of my shrink again

trying to figure out

what it is that holds me so close to you:

-Is it love?

-What is love?

Someone must've been fooled

Me

fooled by you

you made me love you, and then you moved

Me

fooled again

earthly love isn't my best friend

A pain in my heart

hidden like a boot sector virus

confronting me

when I try to partition my love

So here I lay

Caught by this virus

kicked in the butt by myself

Wanted to get rid of my feelings for you,

wanted to be free, to not think of you

(What do you do?)

(What do you think?)

(Where do you go?)

The result is my system collapses again

everytime that I try to forget you

my system breaks down as do I

I'm tired now. do not want this anymore

A pain in my heart

hidden like a boot sector virus

confronting me

when I try to partition my love

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Rush

No need to rush

no need indeed

all time there is

there is

and then it is

no more

So don't rush

don't rush

We've

time

enough

But rushes come

and rushes go

your rushes

drift

from head to toe

up and down

my spine

you

rush

although I dont rush

no I don't rush

at all

I just fall

Fall

fall

until fall

has fallen

I fall

in love

And then time

stops

Time stops

and there's no rush

in time

no need to rush

for time

When fall

has fallen

I rush

I rush

through you

as well

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Well done

You did good

Passed my tests

did your best

or did you?

Passing tests

you know all about that

by now

But do you know my tests?

Surely you've wondered

why

I came

the way I did

Surely you've had

me in mind

for some time

Maybe you didn't reflect

but I've been there

I know

I went there myself you know

Don't ask me how

Or why

I never deny

but the truth

can be hard

as well as kind

To souls yet

unpolished

trapped by logic

life can be small

Trapped by fear

isn't anywhere near

where I am

Do you understand?

Well done, boy

You passed with merely a scratch

on your surface

The gold that is hidden beneath

I can see

Maybe you don't

maybe you don't even know

what I rambling about

but

you will

I know you will

Your golden soul reveals

secret gifts from the past

and all of those you'll grasp

one day

I'll lead you to your way

if you like

It's fun

And it's timeless fun as well

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Did it, done it

Did it, done it

once or twice or

maybe even a thousand times but

once is a try

and twice is a habit

So a thousand couldn't really matter

in the end

anyway

Will I do it again?

Noone ever knows

for sure

once bitten

twice shy

once a millionare

you always want more

Are you curious?

curiousity killed the cat you know

and cats have a lot of lives to spend

Do you, in the end?

Well it's your life

you do as you please

I'm just teasing you to think

before you sink

and get washed up on a shore

far away from home

feeling a little bit more than alone

losing your throne

killing someone for a new one

Think

before you sink

Then you can dive

with pride

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Alexis CM Sistonen